Friendships

I have never been the kind of person to get to close to people. It seems that whenever I do I always get stabbed in the back. I learned my lesson and I often keep people at arms length. I am not a trusting person and I will always be the first one to say that. I often come across as a snob but really I just don't want to be hurt again.

Living the life as a Pastor's wife is probably the easiest place to keep your distance from people. Since you or your husband are often the topic over Sunday lunch or sometime through the week you really have to learn to develop tough skin. While developing this tough skin, I developed a tough heart. It is not something I am proud of and something I am working to change. My mother always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Since that has been ingrained in me there are a lot of times that I have nothing to say. Other times I open my big mouth.

Because I keep people at a distance I have VERY few close friends. I always got along with guys better than girls and always had more fun hanging out with them. Girls are mean. They just are. There is even a movie called "Mean Girls."

I am so thankful for the few close friends that I do have. They are the ones that can call me out on things. They are the ones that dig deep into my life not because they are nosy but because they truly desire to see me be more like Christ. They are the ones that even if I haven't talked to them in a year or more we pick right back up where we left off. They are the ones I cry with, laugh with, pray with, and know the real me. These are the ones that know my heart. They know my desire to be a better wife, mother, pastor's wife and friend. They know how desperately I want to expand my household. They know my heart.

I know that my life would be very empty without these ladies. Some of them I have known since the First Grade, others since College or more recently. I am thankful for these Godly women. They have poured into my life because they see the potential I have in me. They encourage me to be better. I hope that somehow I have made a difference in their life. I pray that I will one day be the kind of Godly woman they have shown it is possible to be.