Thursday, April 28, 2011

Job Hunting

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it unto the day of Jesus Christ.


So last week I decided it was time to start the job hunt again.  I am not thrilled about going back to work because I have enjoyed staying home with my little man over the last several years.  I like being home to take care of things here.  I love watching my little man grow and not miss out on the funny things he says and does.

It seems that whenever I begin the job hunt, everyone starts getting sick.  Last week, it was the little man.  This week it is Scott.  I applied for 3 jobs and he ends up with strep!  Coincidence?  Maybe?  God's way of telling me I need to be at home?  Maybe?  Who knows, but this happens EVERY TIME!!  It never fails.

I'll admit, I worry about money.  It is my besetting sin.  I worry about money more than anyone I know.  I like the comfort of knowing that all the bills are paid and there is money left over.  It makes me feel secure.  Now before you go off telling me that my security is found in Christ, let me say, I KNOW!!!  BUT I am human and I worry.  At least I am honest about it!  :-)

I also know that we are supposed to trust the Lord for everything but where is the line of sitting and waiting for God to provide and actually getting out there and doing something about it?  I do worry about raising 3 kids on one salary.  I wonder what amazing miracles God is going to do for this to work in our family.  I don't doubt that He has called us to adopt these children, but I do wonder what He was thinking when He did!  I guess I am feeling unworthy and unable to do what He has called me to do.  Just part of the journey I am sure.  After all, the sun will come out tomorrow (as long as it doesn't rain!) and joy always comes in the morning!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

He Has Provided Again

Yesterday was my birthday!

Yesterday I received a birthday card that said:

Please accept this gift for your future children on your birthday!

Inside was a check for $3000.00!!!!!!!!!!!

Woo-Hoo!!!

The Lord just keeps providing.  We will have our babies here before you know it!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

They Say It's Your Birthday

Today I turned 34.  34.  Hmm.  I remember when 34 seemed so far away, now it is here.  I look at all the things I have accomplished and dream of accomplishing so many more.  I think about the dreams that never came true and how the life I live differs from the life I imagined and how this life I live is better than anything I could have ever dreamed up.

This last year has been a roller coaster.  God has taken me through the depths of the darkest valley and He has set me on the highest mountain.  I have found that true happiness does not depend on other's opinion of me but in the One who has saved me.  I have experienced Psalm 30:5 to its fullest.  I know that weeping does endure for the night and joy really does come in the morning.  I have yelled in anger and frustration at God and I have lifted His name in praise and adoration.  Above it all, I have found that HE is good and HE is greatly to be praised.

I love the beginning of a new year.  Whether it is January 1st or April 19th, you will find me making goals or lists of things I want to accomplish.  I have several lists in boxes from years past and it is always fun to pull them out and see what my dreams were so many years ago.  It is interesting to see how my tastes have changed.  How things that were once so important hold no value to me.  Sometimes they are sad to read because many of those goals have been waiting to be met for years.  Maybe this is the year!!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Sometimes You Miss Out If You Don't Wait

Over the last couple of months my friend Sandy and I have been doing a Bible Study on the book of Joshua.  It has been very interesting and has opened my eyes to some of the most amazing things.  I have found that every week I am learning how to better my walk with the Lord and I have opened my heart to Him in ways I didn't realize I needed to.

I have really been focusing on Joshua 6 when the Israelites have been walking around the city of Jericho and "Shoutin' Day" has finally arrived.  They are commanded to go in and kill everything and take nothing for themselves.  They are to destroy everything that breathes and take over the city.  They do that and are ready to move on.

Chapter 7 shows us that Joshua is ready to fight again.  He sends spies to Ai and the spies come back to tell Joshua that this should be an easy city to take.  Joshua is all ready on a high from what God did in Jericho so he is ready to do it again in Ai.  However, Joshua did not consult the Lord.  If he had, I believe that God would have let him in on a few things. But, Joshua chose to try to take over the city anyway and that day they lost many men.

I can't imagine how Joshua must have felt.  God had just given them victory over Jericho and now He had let them down.  He was probably mad, angry that God had not come through for them.  It was then that Joshua and God literally had a "come to Jesus meeting".  God reminded Joshua that he did not come to Him and talk with Him about this battle.  He told Joshua of the sin that was in the camp.  The sin that caused them to lose men. 

Our next scene takes us to Achan.  He is the man who has sinned.  He took items from Jericho after being told not too.  I wonder if he realized why they had lost the battle.  I wonder if he knew he was the reason God did not give victory that day.  I wonder if he stood in the battle watching and knowing he was the reason for the death of those around him.

I don't know about you, but if I had been clued in on what was going on and I was in Achan's shoes, I would have been scared to death!  There is NO WAY I would have gone back to camp.  Watching the women and children cry over the loss of their loved ones, while I returned to my tent of stolen goods.  No thank you!  I think I would have killed myself on the battlefield.

Or maybe he didn't know.  Maybe he thought he had hidden his sin so well that he thought this loss was some sort of fluke.  Sometimes we hide our sin and we think we have it so good that we forgot that we cannot hide anything from God.  I know I do.

Because of his sin, Achan and his family were killed.  KILLED!!  It may seem a bit over the top and if I was Achan's wife and didn't know what he had done I would not be happy.  I would not want to die because of the sin of another.  I think God was teaching the children of Israel a lesson.  You can't hide things from Him and our sin affects more than just ourselves.

Even though that is an important lesson to learn, I want to move on to Chapter 8.  Chapter 8 brings victory!  Chapter 8 brings spoils and provision.  Joshua and the Israelites are now told to go destroy Ai AND they are given permission to take the spoils of the land!

2 chapters!!  If Achan could have just waited 2 chapters he would have received the spoils of the land!  Really if you think about it, if Achan had not disobeyed, chapter 7 would have never been written.  How many times do we miss out on something better because we couldn't wait?  I am so guilty of this.  I like to have things now and I often do not have the patience to wait.  Oh, how many awesome things have I missed out on because I wanted something now?  It grieves my heart to know that I have missed out on the blessings of God.  He wants to bless us.  He wants to give us the spoils of the land and sometimes all we have to do is wait for the next chapter.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I Wonder If That Is How He Feels

Today I have been catching up on some blogs.  I have been reading about one family's journey to China to adopt a little boy and girl.  They are there now and have been posting pictures and thoughts of their trip.  I have sat with tears rolling down my face.  I am so excited for them.  I understand the pain and joy of this journey. 

I remember the very first time I held Trent.  He was 10 months old and I knew the moment I saw him that he was meant to be my little boy.  I was going through some old pictures the other day and came across this one.


It is a picture of his first Sunday at our church.  His foster mom, had brought him to church before he ever came to live with us.  She understood the importance of him meeting his soon to be church family for the first time.  Everyone fell in love with him instantly.  It made my heart glad to know that our church family welcomed our son with open arms.

A couple of years later we stood before the judge while he legally made him our son.  Trent was all ready our little boy but the judge made it legal.  I will never forget the relief I felt in knowing that no one would ever be able to take this little one from me.  He was ours forever.  These days are referred to "gotcha days". 


I have been thinking about our future.  Somewhere there are 2 little ones waiting for us.  We are working hard to get to their "gotcha day".  We long to hold them in our arms and kiss their precious little faces.  I know the joy of sacrifice, paperwork, and stress to get to that "gotcha day".  I know the joy of seeing that little face for the first time and know it was all worth it.  I can't wait for that day!

I have never given birth to a child but I have heard it said that mothers go through the pain of childbirth but forget it all when they see their child's face.  In a way we are going through our own process of childbirth.  Unfortunately, ours can last for months or years, but in the end it is worth it and we would do it all over again.

I can't help wonder if this is what the Father goes through.  Years ago, He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins.   He pursues us.  He longs for us.  He wants to hold us in His arms and keep us safe.  He wants to adopt us into His family.  Does He dream about the day that we will come to Him?  Does He wait patiently with tears in His eyes knowing that one day we will be His and will live with Him forever?  Does He long for our "gotcha day"?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

When God Closes a Door

When God closes a door, He always opens a window.



I first heard these words spoken by the Reverend Mother on the Sound of Music. While not scripture, these words have held truth that I believe even Solomon would find fascinating. To me these words mean that even when things don't work out the way we want them to, God has a plan and He is working it. Besides, His plan is ALWAYS better than mine!


These words have proven true over and over in my life. Right now my life revolves around my husband and son but it is also focused on adoption and fundraising. Most of my doors and windows revolve around these 4 items. I look at every opportunity that comes along and consider the affect it can have on our life. I consider the positive and negative and make my decision.


Yesterday, I heard about a job with company I currently work for. I LOVE being a Wilton Method Instructor and I hope to spend many happy years with Wilton. I was very excited to learn of this position and knew that I would love it and do a great job. I also viewed this as an opportunity to bring in a little bit more money to help us become debt free. I quickly sent in my resume and received an email listing the qualifications of this position. Sadly, I did not meet the requirements. I was so sad. I was really excited about this possibility.


Not long after that, I received a message from a friend placing an order for some Easter items. A little bit later I received a phone call for a possible wedding cake. Wow! God closed the door on a job to make more money, but He provided me with 2 ways to put some money toward our debt instead! I could have wallowed in self pity and the old me would have done that. But I realized that even though God had closed the door, He had opened a window.


Doors close and windows open all the time. It seems constant in the world of adoption. Stress happens and things don't always go the way we plan them. It is ok. God is in control and He is working His plan for His glory. All I need to do is climb through that window.


Monday, April 4, 2011

Cupcake Success!


Just wanted to let everyone know that we raised $405 toward our USCIS and fingerprinting this weekend. I think we sold around 230 cupcakes so we did really well! I am super excited to see what God is going to do next! I still have 3 dozen and a cake to sell this week so those numbers should rise! God is so good and He just continues to provide. Thank you to EVERYONE who placed their order and donated money to our fund.


I also wanted to say thank you to Amy at filledwithpraise.blogspot.com for featuring us as the Family of the Week Fundraiser Spotlight. Amy has so graciously spotlighted adoptive families all year and we were blessed to be spotlighted today. Thanks Amy!!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Cupcakes



I have been making cupcakes like a crazy lady!! Of course my new mixer has been an excellent help!! So far I have made about 200 cupcakes and delivered 72. I have 2 dozen to deliver tomorrow and then the rest on Sunday. I am really excited to see how God is providing for us to reach our $830 goal. I will post our total on Sunday night!!!! :-)