On the Death of a Father

Today I found out that a childhood friend's father passed away today.  This obviously got me thinking about my Dad and how he is no longer here on this Earth.  I haven't written much about my Dad since he passed away, I have pretty much kept to myself on the subject.  I do not think that words can even express how I feel about his death or how much I miss him.

I was also thinking of how many friends, who are my age, have lost a parent in the last couple of years.  It kind of makes me angry because I do not feel that I am old enough to have lost a parent yet.  Children grow up, get married, have children, their children grow up and THEN they begin to lose their parents.  We are supposed to have our parents with us until they are old.  They are supposed to attend our children's graduations and weddings.  They are supposed to be there for their first great-grandchildren.  That is how it works.  At least I thought it did.

My Dad will never attend my child's kindergarten graduation, much less his high school graduation.  My Dad will never know any of his other grandchildren.  He is supposed to be here!  Why isn't he here?  Why did God decide it was time?  Why don't I have any answers?  Why are so many of us losing a parent?  I don't have any answers but as I continue to work through the grieving process I find peace in knowing that for some reason losing my Dad fits into God's plan for my life.  I don't like it.  In fact, I hate it, but it is what God has given to me and through it He will be glorified.

Still Processing

Lake Balaton, Hungary

Words do not even begin to describe the emotions I have felt over the past week.  On June 30, I and a team of 17 others left Indianapolis, Indiana and headed for Budapest, Hungary.  We were headed there to put on a week long camp for Hungarian children living in homes.  Some might call them orphans, but in reality many of these children have parents.  The sad thing is that the living conditions of the home were better than the place the children had lived with their parents.

I had not originally planned to go on this trip, but through a series of events it was necessary that I go.  I knew going into this that my heart would be stripped from my chest, beaten, bruised and returned more raw than ever before.  I knew that my life would be forever changed.

If you have followed my blog for any length of time, you know my heart for children.  You know that I want nothing more than to have a whole houseful and you know that God has not granted that desire.  You know that we are in the process of an adoption that is not moving forward and you realize that I have not blogged because my heart hurts so much I feel that it will never heal.  Over time, I have been asked if I will continue to love the Lord even if He chooses not to give me anymore children.  He has blessed me with the most amazing little boy and while it is hard to listen to Trent ask God to bring his brother and sister to us every time he prays, I can say in my heart that I will continue to bless His name.

Over the next few days, I hope to process all that I saw, heard and felt.  I hope to share some of these things with you.  I truly believe that this is still part of the journey that God has led us on and He is faithful to finish the work He began.

And the Winner is....

I meant to post this the other day but I haven't done much of anything the last few days.  I did something to my back and I am FINALLY feeling better.  I told Scott that this is what I get for trying to clean out the garage and the closets!!  Even though I do plan to dive right back in after Easter.

Just a little tidbit of information... We have submitted our home study to the state of Ohio to be considered to adopt a sibling group of 4.  We don't have a lot of information on them and we won't unless they decide to choose us to adopt them.  Right now, we are just praying that the Lord's will be done.  There are some "issues" as far as the size of our home and our income that may keep them from choosing us, but we know that God is bigger than those "issues" and if He wants these children in our family, they will be.  Right now the team is reviewing home studies.  I do not know for how long but I really hope to hear something in the next month or so.

And now onto the winner of the $100 Target Gift Card!!!  Thanks so much to those who donated to our fund.  We really appreciate it!  The winner is Pete Mular!!!!!  Pete, make sure that you email me your address at thejourneyhome.todd@gmail.com so I can get it out to you!!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter!

Selling Stuff!

Last weekend I did another cupcake sale for our adoption fund.  This was a little difficult because we have a team going to Hungary on a missions trip this summer so they are raising money as well.  I did pretty well making about $150 and a little more yet to come in.  I have also been cleaning out the garage and selling it.  I have been able to add money to our fund that way as well!  God has been good because things keep selling and it is no longer in my house!

I want to ask that you pray about a situation that we have been introduced too.  We are praying about it and hoping to hear something soon.  We are waiting on our agency to send our home study to another state in order to be considered at this time.  We know that God is in control and I will just keep waiting on Him and His perfect timing.

Don't forget, you still have a day or so left to be part of our Target Gift Card Drawing!!!  Just make a donation on the right hand side where is says Todd Adoption Fund and you will be put in the drawing.  It doesn't matter what you donate to be in the drawing.  I will draw the winning name on April 3rd at 8:00pm est and post the winner!!!

I hope everyone had a great weekend and I look forward to sharing with you more about what God is doing in our lives.  Have a SUPER week!

Keep Pressing On.

This week has been FULL of decisions that we have needed to make.  It seems that there has been one thing after another concerning adoption.  At one point this week we were asked to consider the possibility of adopting a 9 and 11 year old.  That was all the information that we had but we decided that was not what was best for our family.  I've been frustrated with all the changes that could or nearly have taken place.  I have literally felt like I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  Things are just swirling in my head while I try to make sense of them all.  Another opportunity presented itself and while I thought it might be the way for us to go, after talking and asking God for an obvious sign I think we will walk away from it as well.

Right now, we are just moving forward.  Willing to walk through ANY door that God opens for us and praying that He shuts the ones He doesn't want for us.  Sometimes it just doesn't make sense but I will continue to look ahead and trust that He is control.

Don't forget you can still get in on the Target Gift Card drawing that will be held April 3rd.  You can donate to our fund by clicking on Todd Adoption Fund and you can see our progress on the thermometer.  Don't forget you earn an entry for posting our blog on your FB or Twitter as well. I have also begun cleaning out the garage and closets and selling items on our town's garage sale FB page.  That has helped as well.  Thanks so much for your prayers and support.

Donate to our fund and you could receive...

A $100 Target Gift Card!!!!!!

We all know there are about a billion reasons you would need a gift card...

groceries, new clothes, books, toys, gift, Mother's Day is coming, just because,  etc...

Who wouldn't want to receive a gift card, To TARGET?!?!?

Here is how it works.  We are trying to raise $2500 to make our next payment for our adoption.  Once this payment is received our profile will be shown to prospective birth mothers.  At any time we could be chosen to be the adoptive parents.  

So...for every dollar that you give toward our fund you will get one entry into the drawing for the gift card.  So if you give $1 you get 1 entry.  $20 equals 20 entries and so on.  I will also give you 1 free entry for sharing our blog on your Facebook page, twitter or blog.  So that could be 3 more entries (but you have to give at least $5 to get the free entries.)  BONUS!!!

You can make your donation by clicking on the link on the right that says Todd Adoption Fund.  We thank you all ahead of time for helping us raise the $2500 we need to bring our baby home.

Home Study-Complete

I finally received word this week that our Home Study is COMPLETE!!!  We had been waiting on 1 piece of paper from the insurance company and it finally arrived.  I am so glad that we are finally able to move forward!  With that being said, we also received a notice for our next payment.  All $5500 of it!  We have about $3000 in our adoption fund that we will put towards that but we still have to raise the other $2500.  I have been amazed at how people have asked how they can help.  One of these days I will share a message that we received from our nephew concerning this very thing. 

I am working on another fundraiser and hope to have details very soon. Our goal is to raise $2500 in the next 2 weeks.  This will allow us to make the next payment so that our profile will be shown to prospective birth mothers.  We know that God began this journey in our hearts and He will provide the money we need.  If you would like to donate to our fund, click on "Todd Adoption Fund" on the right hand side.  We appreciate you and your prayers.