Words

*I don't mean to get off the adoption blog track, but God is working in my heart and I believe this is part of the journey.

Gossip.  1 word, 2 syllables.  Just a small little word that holds more hurt and pain then one would care to admit.  In "christian" circles we refer to it as "prayer requests".  It is something that little old ladies do and we laugh.  It is how we get the most up to date news on our favorite celebrity.  Something that no one wants to be the recipient of but often has no problem doing.  What is it about knowing something about someone else that draws us (mainly women) in?

Over the years I have been a recipient of gossip.  There is nothing that gets me stirred up more than being talked about.  As a pastor's wife, being the center of gossip is not uncommon and I have learned to deal with it.  I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt, but I can deal with it better than I used too.  I am learning who I am and who I need to be.  I am learning that people's approval is not necessary in my life.  I have been placed on this earth to serve only One and that is my focus.

Having said that, it is confession time.  I am POSITIVE I have been on the giving end of gossip, more often that the receiving end.  I don't know what it is that draws us into it, but it does.  I have said things out of anger and hurt.  I have "released information" because I wanted to have the upper hand.  I have commented on subjects because I wanted someone to like me.  None of these things are excuses because gossip is just plain wrong.  Gossip has NEVER brought the good out in anyone.

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 10:31, "The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out." (NIV)  I can't tell you how many times I wish I could cut out my tongue after I have said something.  I wish I could reach out and grab the words I've said before they reach someone's ears.  There are so many things that I wish I could take back.

Over the last couple of months, I have been praying that God would make me more like His Son.  I believe that God is answering my request.  This is one area where He has really been working on me.  I know this journey will be long and painful and will never end until I reach Heaven, but I have decided that I will allow the process to make me stronger, wiser, and more like Jesus.  I pray that the words of my mouth will be pleasing unto the Lord.

So, I want to apologize deeply to those I have hurt with my words.  I'm sorry for the things that I have said that have been out of line and unacceptable.  I'm sorry that I have said things to degrade you while lifting myself up.  I'm sorry for hurting you and I hope that you will accept my apology and be able to forgive me.

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,  but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."  Ephesians 4:29