Are you for us or our enemies?

About 2 years ago, we began the study "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick.  At that time, Scott and I had been feeling very restless in our ministry, so we began to pray that God would make the sun stand still in our lives.  We asked God to do something so crazy that we knew it only came from Him.  Something that would make people think we were nuts, but that we would know deep in our hearts that He wanted us to do this.  We wanted to live outside the box, take risks and make His name famous.  We were willing to do whatever He asked and go wherever He wanted.

After lots of praying and counsel, we decided that we were going to go back to Buenos Aires, Argentina which is where Scott is from.  We were going to move to the city, get jobs, build relationships, help Scott's parents (missionaries there) and eventually start a church.  We didn't know how we were going to get there, just that we were going to go.  We were confident that this was what we needed to do.

Well, after a few months of doors being shut by the hand of God and not even a cracked window in our view we wondered if we were wrong.  We thought God wanted us there.  We thought we were doing what He wanted and it turns out He just wanted us to be willing.  Sometimes finding out that God just wanted you to be willing to go is harder to take than Him actually asking you to go.  We were a little shocked.  We were restless and nothing was working out.

Over the last year, things have changed.  God is making the sun stand still in our lives but not in the way we ever dreamed possible.  Being willing to go to Argentina was just the first step.  Maybe it was a test to see if we were really willing to do what He asked and I guess we passed because now  God has asked us to do some pretty crazy, out of the box things.  He is working and even though I can't talk about it, know that God is doing only what He can do (and I will be able to talk about it next week!!)

That brings me to my newest Bible study.  I just began an online Bible Study here.  We are going through the book "Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions" by Lysa TerKeurst and the Lord knew I would need this study at this time in my life.  I am feeling unglued.  There are days when I think "better be careful what you pray for!"  My heart is torn between the safety of what I know and the unknown.  I can feel my emotions fraying and trying to keep it together is far from easy.

Today, in my reading, Lysa tells the story of Joshua just before he and the children of Israel are about to make their first trip around Jericho's walls.  Joshua is alone and he is approached by "the commander of the army of the Lord" (Joshua 5:13).  This is God in human form!  Talk about coming unglued.  I would have been more than a little freaked out!  However, Joshua asks, "Are you for us or for our enemies?" (Joshua 5:13).  As Lysa points out, God doesn't say "Why of course I am Joshua!  I am on your side!"  He says, "Neither."

Say what?  How can God not have a side?  Isn't He the good side?  I mean, if he were a Jedi Knight He would be carrying a blue lit light saber!  I mean He is all that is good and pure and holy.  Jericho is evil.  They are the enemy. I think Darth Vader is from Jericho!  How is He not on a side?

And then Lysa points out something I have missed every time I have read this story.  Maybe, Joshua should have been asking, "Whose side am I on?"  Whoa!  That hit me like a ton of bricks.

Whose side am I on?  When things are going crazy and I don't know which end is up, whose side am I on?  When God asks me to do something that is so far out of my comfort zone I can't stand it, whose side am I on?  When my life is falling down around me, whose side am I on?  When things are better than they have ever been before, whose side am I on?

I know that my future is uncertain.  I know that the changes we are facing as a family are scary.  However, I know whose side I am on.  This is His plan for our lives.  It is going to be crazy and awesome and unknown, but He is in control and I will forever be on His side.