I have spent the majority of my evening looking at photo listings of children all around this world that need to be adopted. I have looked at the names and faces of precious ones that need, deserve and want a family. I have stood outside staring at the moon and begging God to make things move faster, while reminding myself that everything is in His due time. I have even gone as far as reading blogs on what it is like to live with children who have cerebral palsy or HIV. I love them the minute I see their face and I wonder how we could ever make it work.
Even though we have been on this journey for almost 3 years, I feel like we are just beginning. We start our foster parenting classes in November and hope to be licensed again by the end of the year. I will be finishing my student teaching in December and Scott has turned his full attention to the HAF. I have no idea how we will foster, adopt and spend so much time in Hungary, but I do know that isn't about me. It's about this fire that is God-given that burns deep in my soul. It is the longing I feel to provide a home, love, nurture and strength to those that have none.
So many of you have been praying for us for so long and I would like to add a couple of requests to the list. Please pray that I can find a job. Financial stability would be really helpful as we add more children to our home. Second, please pray that we can find a house that will meet the needs of a growing family. I know that the size of a house isn't everything, but the more bedrooms and bathrooms that we have, the more kids we can foster and adopt. Finally, please pray that God will bring the children that He wants us to have and that we will have wisdom when reading over a child's file.
P.S. I know that some of you are considering or have been considering adoption for awhile now. What is stopping you? There are thousands of children in the United States that need homes. Call your local DCFS office and get more information. You won't regret it!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Since September
September. That was the last time I posted on this blog. It hasn't been because I didn't want to it has been because I can't seem to type out the words in my heart. I have several posts that I have started and never finished. Some about life, some about what God is teaching me and some about adoption.
The Lord has been leading our family into new adventures and sometimes that means giving up others. Not others as in people but as in other adventures. He has laid before us our biggest adventure yet but I have a feeling this one is small compared to what is to come. I will be honest. I'm hesitant to share our current adventure and to share what adventures have come to an end. Mainly because every day something else changes. Nothing is really set in stone. Some days I don't know which end is up. While I'm loving every minute of it, I'm struggling with it as well. Holding on to the hand of the Father for dear life is where I stand now. Knowing that "He's got this" and I don't have to worry makes it a little easier.
So in the meantime, we continue to wait or a birth mother to choose us and I am working on plans to start another blog. Life is crazy around here, but it is about to get amazing!
The Lord has been leading our family into new adventures and sometimes that means giving up others. Not others as in people but as in other adventures. He has laid before us our biggest adventure yet but I have a feeling this one is small compared to what is to come. I will be honest. I'm hesitant to share our current adventure and to share what adventures have come to an end. Mainly because every day something else changes. Nothing is really set in stone. Some days I don't know which end is up. While I'm loving every minute of it, I'm struggling with it as well. Holding on to the hand of the Father for dear life is where I stand now. Knowing that "He's got this" and I don't have to worry makes it a little easier.
So in the meantime, we continue to wait or a birth mother to choose us and I am working on plans to start another blog. Life is crazy around here, but it is about to get amazing!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Psalm 19:14
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14
I LOVE to sew. If you know me, you know that. What you may not know is that when I sew, I think. And when I think, my mind is not always on things that are pleasing to the Lord. Lately, my thoughts have been on church situations. I get very "passionate" in my thinking when people are hurtful to my Pastor, my husband (the Assistant Pastor) or our intern. It makes me angry when they are treated with disrespect. It frustrates me when people believe that one of these godly men are out to hurt our church. It makes me even more frustrated when these people are only showing up on Sundays, do nothing during the week, are not active in small groups or any other part of our church and then show back up on Sunday to complain again. These are the people that make me want to pack it in. This is when I say ministry is just not worth it anymore.
So I sew. I focus on what these people are doing. I have had quite the conversations (in my head) with these people. I let them know what I think. I let them know how they have hurt me and my family. And in my mind I yell and scream and hold nothing back! And I keep sewing.
Lately, the Lord has been convicting my heart about this. I have been sewing and fighting for so long that I don't even know how to fix this. My thoughts go into a tangent and I just keep sewing. Now, I guess I could just quit sewing, but I don't think that is the answer. There is no power within me to change this but finally, today I had a breakthrough!
I was working in my Bible study book "Unglued" and came across a section where Lysa talks about the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts. It was as though the Lord verbally spoke to me. He said, "Your meditations are not pleasing to me." Oh boy! You know where my thoughts automatically headed? Directly to what I think about when I am sewing. I guess I never truly realized how little control I have over my thoughts in this situation. I get angry and upset and instead of taking it to the Father and asking Him to change my thoughts, I plunge myself deeper into frustration and build my walls higher.
This week has been especially difficult. I believe that Satan is working overtime because I am trying to break free from something that he has held captive for so long. My heart has been in turmoil. I have been angry, hurt and frustrated. My stomach has HATED me all week and I just keep sewing. But this time, instead of focusing on the anger and hurt attacking my heart, I focus on Psalm 19:14. I pray that God will change the meditations of my heart. I pray that He will help me keep it together. Like I said, there is nothing in me to change this, but there is power in the praying of scripture.
Are there things in your life that cause you to come "unglued". Are the meditations of your heart pleasing to the Lord? I would love to hear from you. I know that I have a long way to go, but putting one foot in front of the other is progress even if it is imperfect.
I LOVE to sew. If you know me, you know that. What you may not know is that when I sew, I think. And when I think, my mind is not always on things that are pleasing to the Lord. Lately, my thoughts have been on church situations. I get very "passionate" in my thinking when people are hurtful to my Pastor, my husband (the Assistant Pastor) or our intern. It makes me angry when they are treated with disrespect. It frustrates me when people believe that one of these godly men are out to hurt our church. It makes me even more frustrated when these people are only showing up on Sundays, do nothing during the week, are not active in small groups or any other part of our church and then show back up on Sunday to complain again. These are the people that make me want to pack it in. This is when I say ministry is just not worth it anymore.
So I sew. I focus on what these people are doing. I have had quite the conversations (in my head) with these people. I let them know what I think. I let them know how they have hurt me and my family. And in my mind I yell and scream and hold nothing back! And I keep sewing.
Lately, the Lord has been convicting my heart about this. I have been sewing and fighting for so long that I don't even know how to fix this. My thoughts go into a tangent and I just keep sewing. Now, I guess I could just quit sewing, but I don't think that is the answer. There is no power within me to change this but finally, today I had a breakthrough!
I was working in my Bible study book "Unglued" and came across a section where Lysa talks about the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts. It was as though the Lord verbally spoke to me. He said, "Your meditations are not pleasing to me." Oh boy! You know where my thoughts automatically headed? Directly to what I think about when I am sewing. I guess I never truly realized how little control I have over my thoughts in this situation. I get angry and upset and instead of taking it to the Father and asking Him to change my thoughts, I plunge myself deeper into frustration and build my walls higher.
This week has been especially difficult. I believe that Satan is working overtime because I am trying to break free from something that he has held captive for so long. My heart has been in turmoil. I have been angry, hurt and frustrated. My stomach has HATED me all week and I just keep sewing. But this time, instead of focusing on the anger and hurt attacking my heart, I focus on Psalm 19:14. I pray that God will change the meditations of my heart. I pray that He will help me keep it together. Like I said, there is nothing in me to change this, but there is power in the praying of scripture.
Are there things in your life that cause you to come "unglued". Are the meditations of your heart pleasing to the Lord? I would love to hear from you. I know that I have a long way to go, but putting one foot in front of the other is progress even if it is imperfect.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Are you for us or our enemies?
About 2 years ago, we began the study "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick. At that time, Scott and I had been feeling very restless in our ministry, so we began to pray that God would make the sun stand still in our lives. We asked God to do something so crazy that we knew it only came from Him. Something that would make people think we were nuts, but that we would know deep in our hearts that He wanted us to do this. We wanted to live outside the box, take risks and make His name famous. We were willing to do whatever He asked and go wherever He wanted.
After lots of praying and counsel, we decided that we were going to go back to Buenos Aires, Argentina which is where Scott is from. We were going to move to the city, get jobs, build relationships, help Scott's parents (missionaries there) and eventually start a church. We didn't know how we were going to get there, just that we were going to go. We were confident that this was what we needed to do.
Well, after a few months of doors being shut by the hand of God and not even a cracked window in our view we wondered if we were wrong. We thought God wanted us there. We thought we were doing what He wanted and it turns out He just wanted us to be willing. Sometimes finding out that God just wanted you to be willing to go is harder to take than Him actually asking you to go. We were a little shocked. We were restless and nothing was working out.
Over the last year, things have changed. God is making the sun stand still in our lives but not in the way we ever dreamed possible. Being willing to go to Argentina was just the first step. Maybe it was a test to see if we were really willing to do what He asked and I guess we passed because now God has asked us to do some pretty crazy, out of the box things. He is working and even though I can't talk about it, know that God is doing only what He can do (and I will be able to talk about it next week!!)
That brings me to my newest Bible study. I just began an online Bible Study here. We are going through the book "Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions" by Lysa TerKeurst and the Lord knew I would need this study at this time in my life. I am feeling unglued. There are days when I think "better be careful what you pray for!" My heart is torn between the safety of what I know and the unknown. I can feel my emotions fraying and trying to keep it together is far from easy.
Today, in my reading, Lysa tells the story of Joshua just before he and the children of Israel are about to make their first trip around Jericho's walls. Joshua is alone and he is approached by "the commander of the army of the Lord" (Joshua 5:13). This is God in human form! Talk about coming unglued. I would have been more than a little freaked out! However, Joshua asks, "Are you for us or for our enemies?" (Joshua 5:13). As Lysa points out, God doesn't say "Why of course I am Joshua! I am on your side!" He says, "Neither."
Say what? How can God not have a side? Isn't He the good side? I mean, if he were a Jedi Knight He would be carrying a blue lit light saber! I mean He is all that is good and pure and holy. Jericho is evil. They are the enemy. I think Darth Vader is from Jericho! How is He not on a side?
And then Lysa points out something I have missed every time I have read this story. Maybe, Joshua should have been asking, "Whose side am I on?" Whoa! That hit me like a ton of bricks.
Whose side am I on? When things are going crazy and I don't know which end is up, whose side am I on? When God asks me to do something that is so far out of my comfort zone I can't stand it, whose side am I on? When my life is falling down around me, whose side am I on? When things are better than they have ever been before, whose side am I on?
I know that my future is uncertain. I know that the changes we are facing as a family are scary. However, I know whose side I am on. This is His plan for our lives. It is going to be crazy and awesome and unknown, but He is in control and I will forever be on His side.
After lots of praying and counsel, we decided that we were going to go back to Buenos Aires, Argentina which is where Scott is from. We were going to move to the city, get jobs, build relationships, help Scott's parents (missionaries there) and eventually start a church. We didn't know how we were going to get there, just that we were going to go. We were confident that this was what we needed to do.
Well, after a few months of doors being shut by the hand of God and not even a cracked window in our view we wondered if we were wrong. We thought God wanted us there. We thought we were doing what He wanted and it turns out He just wanted us to be willing. Sometimes finding out that God just wanted you to be willing to go is harder to take than Him actually asking you to go. We were a little shocked. We were restless and nothing was working out.
Over the last year, things have changed. God is making the sun stand still in our lives but not in the way we ever dreamed possible. Being willing to go to Argentina was just the first step. Maybe it was a test to see if we were really willing to do what He asked and I guess we passed because now God has asked us to do some pretty crazy, out of the box things. He is working and even though I can't talk about it, know that God is doing only what He can do (and I will be able to talk about it next week!!)
That brings me to my newest Bible study. I just began an online Bible Study here. We are going through the book "Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions" by Lysa TerKeurst and the Lord knew I would need this study at this time in my life. I am feeling unglued. There are days when I think "better be careful what you pray for!" My heart is torn between the safety of what I know and the unknown. I can feel my emotions fraying and trying to keep it together is far from easy.
Today, in my reading, Lysa tells the story of Joshua just before he and the children of Israel are about to make their first trip around Jericho's walls. Joshua is alone and he is approached by "the commander of the army of the Lord" (Joshua 5:13). This is God in human form! Talk about coming unglued. I would have been more than a little freaked out! However, Joshua asks, "Are you for us or for our enemies?" (Joshua 5:13). As Lysa points out, God doesn't say "Why of course I am Joshua! I am on your side!" He says, "Neither."
Say what? How can God not have a side? Isn't He the good side? I mean, if he were a Jedi Knight He would be carrying a blue lit light saber! I mean He is all that is good and pure and holy. Jericho is evil. They are the enemy. I think Darth Vader is from Jericho! How is He not on a side?
And then Lysa points out something I have missed every time I have read this story. Maybe, Joshua should have been asking, "Whose side am I on?" Whoa! That hit me like a ton of bricks.
Whose side am I on? When things are going crazy and I don't know which end is up, whose side am I on? When God asks me to do something that is so far out of my comfort zone I can't stand it, whose side am I on? When my life is falling down around me, whose side am I on? When things are better than they have ever been before, whose side am I on?
I know that my future is uncertain. I know that the changes we are facing as a family are scary. However, I know whose side I am on. This is His plan for our lives. It is going to be crazy and awesome and unknown, but He is in control and I will forever be on His side.
Facebook Page
I now have a Facebook page for all my creations! Hopefully, going here will work! If not, search RMT Boutique. I am working on all kinds of items and trying to add them daily. Items are handmade and available in many sizes. If you see something you would like to order you can let me know on the page or email me at thejourneyhome.todd@gmail.com. Once the item(s) is complete, I will send you an invoice through Paypal. Remember ALL proceeds go to our adoption fund. Also, if you would like to purchase a cookbook, you can do that on the right hand side of this blog. Here are just a few items that are available:
Feel free to hop on over to the RMT Boutique Facebook Page! I hope to see you there!
Friday, August 24, 2012
Feeling Blessed
First, I just want to say THANK YOU so much to all of you who have placed an order or have said you will place an order for a cookbook! We are so blessed to have so many people support us and pray with us through our adoption. Feel free to share our blog with your friends and family so they have the opportunity to purchase a cookbook as well. God has given us the greatest family and friends and we appreciate you all!
Second, our profile is finally online at www.bethany.org. We are listed with the waiting families profiles. We hope that having a national presence will help us to be found by our birth mother very soon. I know that we will hear something very soon. Feel free to share our profile with anyone and everyone.
Third, things are crazy here! Trent turns 6 tomorrow!! I can't believe my baby is going to be 6! It seems like only yesterday that we brought him home to be our child forever. He started Kindergarten last week and all ready kissed a girl the first day (He is a Todd!) He came home yesterday to tell me that he found a new girl to marry, at least it was the same girl he kissed. I don't know what I am going to do with him!
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| Thank you Courtney Jo Lemmons for the pictures! |
Finally, big changes are coming to the Todd household. I can't tell you about it yet, but I will soon. God is faithful and we are excited to share what He is doing. Keep checking back and I promise we will tell you soon!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Let's Do This!
Over the last few months, I have had nothing to report. I know it is just part of the process and though frustrating at times I know that God has His hand in this. A few weeks ago we had problems with our insurance. Apparently, we had a problem since February and didn't know it! You see, if we had a baby placed with us during this time we would have had even more problems with the insurance. Even though things are still working out, I do feel that God protected us from some major headaches. Hopefully, everything will be taken care of soon and we will be back on track.
In the meantime, we need to raise $16,150 for our next payment! Yes, that is A TON of money, but as I have said before, my Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills so $16,150 is pocket change to Him! Last year we started working on a cookbook. Many of you submitted recipes and after quite a long time of delays, travels and school we are ready! It is now time to order your cookbook. There are almost 200 recipes and I must admit I cannot wait to try all of them! While I was proofreading, I kept thinking, "I need to try that and that one too!" I was hungry all the time!! So, if you would like to purchase a cookbook, click on the button at the side for Cookbook Fundraiser. Each book is $10. If you would like them shipped to you there is a choice for a cookbook + shipping. If you would like to order more than 4 please let me know and I can email you an invoice. I plan to order the cookbooks on September 7th so make sure you place your order so I get enough.
In the meantime, we need to raise $16,150 for our next payment! Yes, that is A TON of money, but as I have said before, my Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills so $16,150 is pocket change to Him! Last year we started working on a cookbook. Many of you submitted recipes and after quite a long time of delays, travels and school we are ready! It is now time to order your cookbook. There are almost 200 recipes and I must admit I cannot wait to try all of them! While I was proofreading, I kept thinking, "I need to try that and that one too!" I was hungry all the time!! So, if you would like to purchase a cookbook, click on the button at the side for Cookbook Fundraiser. Each book is $10. If you would like them shipped to you there is a choice for a cookbook + shipping. If you would like to order more than 4 please let me know and I can email you an invoice. I plan to order the cookbooks on September 7th so make sure you place your order so I get enough.
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